See Folks, THIS Is How You Get Into Stanford

Posted by: Avinash on Friday, May 25th, 2007

Most Cal Alumni know that the Tree across the Bay does not easily uncurl its bushes to let others into its feeble branches. So this awesome article about just comes off as hilarious to us in so many ways. All these nuggets of info in this column drive this story into the Pantheon of Hilarity.

Azia Kim was like any other Stanford freshman. She graduated from one of California’s most competitive high schools last June, moved into the dorms during New Student Orientation, talked about upcoming tests and spent her free time with friends.

The only problem is that Azia Kim was never a Stanford student.

Kim, an 18-year-old from Orange County who graduated from Fullerton’s Troy High School, lived in Kimball throughout fall and winter quarter. She lived in Okada, the Asian-American theme dorm, until Monday night, when University staff finally caught onto her ruse.

Friends aren’t sure of her motive for sneaking onto campus and living a lie, but many speculate that she felt pressure from overbearing parents to attend Stanford — regardless of whether she was admitted.

We feel happier every day that our parents didn’t give a crap about where we ended up. Stanford is just another damned school. Yet we know from talking to our friends that the Cardinal is some sort of graduate Mecca for these middle/upper class immigrants. From one perspective, we can understand–it’s safe, it’s isolated, the routine gets lame, and most of the white dudes there are too elitist to catch yellow fever.But wow, talk about pressure.

“Personally, I don’t feel safe now that Stanford allowed this to happen and that they’re not doing anything to ensure the safety of their students,” said Amy Zhou ‘08, Kim’s roommate in Okada. “I think something’s definitely wrong with the system if this could happen.”

Oh, the rightful indignation! What a disgrace! Mistakes happen! I am the victim because I couldn’t notice once in four months that something was up because I’m a self-absorbed frosh who’s afraid of everything! Yep, I’m going to be a bundle of fear when I leave! It’s not my fault I’m oblivious to the world (we would probably blame that too on her parents)!

Still, Kim had neither a Stanford ID nor a key, forcing her to sneak into meals and enter her room through its window, which overlooked the Munger construction pit, the Wilbur parking lot and a dumpster, three feet off the ground. Zhou never noticed, as she spent nearly all her nights in her boyfriend’s room.

“She took off the screen and always left one of the windows wide open and the blinds up,” Zhou said. “I just guessed she always wanted a breezy room.”

To avoid suspicion while in Okada, Kim pretended to be a sophomore majoring in human biology, going as far as to buy textbooks and study with friends for tests she would never take. Residents of the 94-person dorm were none the wiser.

We have to admit, this girl has parent problems, although nothing that can’t be worked out–you can’t choose your family. But to con Stanford for nearly a whole year into thinking you attend another college? Either this chick knows massive tricks and is more resourceful than she lets on, or Stanford student security is waaay worse than Cal’s. If it’s the former, we’re incredibly turned on by her ‘misbehaving’. She’ll survive very well in the real world if she can do these things.

Personally, we think these events play out to a great TV show idea. Spend eight months inserting a fake student in an Ivy League College, getting kids all indignant and angry about bursting their security bubble when they find out, then making up and being friends at the end. Except at the Tree, where some of her peers think she’s the screw-up because they got conned too. Fuck Stanfurd.

Have you tried to pretend being something you’re not (if you can top what this girl did, bonus points)? Or do you just have parents that are also crazy about getting you to do something at all costs? Answer those questions or just comment on the entire situation in the comments or on the message board thread.

UPDATE: A follow-up article from the Stanford Daily. Wow, these editors have their heads stuck up their asses.

Thanks to Sturdy Golden Bear for the scoop!
IMPOSTER CAUGHT [Stanford] (It’s in bold because Stanford thinks it’s very serious.)
(Image from The Stanford Daily)



Topics: Stanford, Students

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