We Hate Hippies Because They Make Us Feel Sorry For Old People

Posted by: Avinash on Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

We love riding bikes. Our town away from Berkeley, Davis, is the bike capital of the world; it’s always a great deal of fun to navigate the lanes there on a boring summer day. But we dare not ride our bike out here in Berkeley, no matter how time efficient it might be at getting us across campus. Why? Because we don’t want to be lumped with these maniacs.

One of the organizers of the monthly Critical Mass bicycle ride through Berkeley said bikers will ask the City Council Tuesday night to complain about their treatment Friday, during a confrontation between about 30 riders and an elderly couple in a minivan in Berkeley.

Jason Meggs, who helped create the monthly Friday evening ride 14 years ago, accused the driver Sunday of deliberately driving through a red light into the mass of riders. He said three bicycles were crushed under the van, causing about $3,000 damage.

However, Berkeley police, after interviewing independent witnesses in an investigation that lasted for hours, disagreed. “There’s nothing to indicate that the driver in any way intended to hit somebody or to hit a bicycle,” said Sgt. Mary Kusmiss, Berkeley police spokesperson.

“We feel our investigation does counter the assertion or allegation that it was an attack on bicyclists,” Kusmiss said.

She said independent witnesses said the driver, who will be 73 this month, and his wife, 70, residents of Berkeley, were westbound on Monterey Avenue at the same time about 30 Critical Mass bike riders were southbound on The Alameda. “When the light turned green, the driver attempted to travel slowly forward in the minivan and saw some bicyclists headed into the intersection toward him,” Kusmiss said.

A verbal exchange ensued, she said. Two witnesses said Critical Mass riders started slapping the vehicle hard enough to start it rocking, she said.

A report on the incident is being sent to the Alameda County District Attorney’s Office for a review, Sgt. Eric Upson said. There were no arrests or citations, and no one was injured, but the minivan had a cracked front windshield.

Well, you can look at the edited video, and you can see for yourself where the mysterious biker under the van is:

We can’t think of anything more persuasive than hipster hippies who exploit children and harass the elderly. Walk on, you pioneers of douchery!

Critical Mass cyclists seek Berkeley council support [The Oakland Tribune]
Hippie Mob Assaults Elderly Couple [YouTube]
(Image from SF Chronicle)



Topics: Berkeley, Hippies, Irrelevant

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