The Very Small Game (Cal-Stanford Soliloquy)

Posted by: Avinash on Monday, November 26th, 2007

Look, I know what week it is. I know who we’re playing. I know it’s a big deal to every big Cal fan out there, especially those who were graced with the awesomeness of Holmoe. Retain the Axe and all that. Good good good.

I couldn’t care less.

That isn’t because I’m done following the Bears–they’re tattooed onto me for life. But for the rest of this season? I’m out. The collapse of Cal football has left me a sick man. Literally. Ever since Riley slid to the ground, my body decided it would multiply the pain. Viral infections everywhere, week after week. Sidelined from what would have been a disastrous Rose Bowl trip. Standing and shivering during a terrible Wazzu victory. Walking back drenched in defeat from the USC game. That was all topped off by a lovely feverish dream during Thanksgiving weekend involving Zach Follett spitting on me, calling me fairweather for all my disparaging criticism of Cal’s failings, and then walking off into the darkness.

It seemed all the effort I’ve put into writing and following the Bears seems to be all for naught. To say the least, these last six weeks have left me despondent. I’m very very tired of discussing the Bears non-stop. So it’s going to stop. At least to the degree I’ve been going at.

I’ve never been to a Big Game, and this year the trend will continue. The real year to go would have been 2004, when the Bears seemed to be on the verge of the Rose Bowl, but I still had not fully converted myself to the light. After the disastrous finishes of 2005 and 2006, I couldn’t have cared less–I would have just been a zombie, hoping for a beatdown and disappointed by anything else.

The Stanford game means little to me so far, because Stanford has sucked since I came here. Despite the USC upset, they continue to suck. It would probably mean something if I was a little older, but that isn’t the case. It’ll grow into me over time, but for now it barely registers on my radar of important games. Beating them means nothing but bragging rights in our rivalry; losing to them means total, utter pain. This year though, it would just bring total numbness to my limbs. I would turn into the human version of limbo.

You couldn’t pay me to go to the Big Game, even if it is the final regular season game for our seniors. I don’t think I can handle another lackluster effort by the Bears. The probability of a decisive victory is terribly low, so I’m going to cut my losses and look forward to 2009 before closing up shop. It’s just too painful to talk about what we’ve undergone the past seven weeks. #1…and gone. That’s what our season feels like now.

I’ll still be watching. Just with a warier, colder eye. Crush the Cardinal.

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