KC Cal’s Weekly Super Fantastic Happy Explosion Awesome Article: On Bloggins and Hearing From Nasty Nate

Posted by: KC Cal on Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Yesterday, Avinash wrote a trite and insightful piece on his take about the Bissinger-Deadspin controversy. It is true that sometimes we like to mock and joke on our favorite team when they’re down in the dirt just a little. Yet at the same time, I also ask the question: is that so bad? Lately, there has been a lot of scorn on sites like Deadspin and KSK, but KSK is quick to point out that they are a comedy site. Their gimmick revolves around the fact that they are mocking athletes. They state their purpose and get their posts out there for people to laugh at. That is all. The problem that these “credentialed writers” have with blogs is that they’re afraid that what is reported on blogs will replace the old medium. What writers don’t really seem to notice though is that there are a variety of blogs for different purposes, some comedy and some fact. You can’t just group them together in one giant pot and say they’re the same product.

I never really viewed Deadspin as a complete sports news site. When I first learned of them, I really thought they were more of a sports fused with comedy site, much like KSK. The only problem is their tag line of sports news with access, favor, or discretion. They should change that. I don’t see stats, I don’t see analysis, and I don’t see anything that would warrant them being an espn.com or sports.yahoo.com. The only problem is that people take them too seriously, as opposed to someone like me who doesn’t take them serious at all. If comments are filled with gay related jokes, how serious can they be?

Others will say that these comedy sports site are just mean spirited in the way they treat athletes. All I have to say is fact is fact. Humans have always been making fun of each other all the time, since be invention of media. What fun would it be if Carson, South Park, the Simpsons, or Conan didn’t have someone to mock on a daily basis? With humor comes parody, that’s just the way it works. Sports figures are just a little perturbed that now it has entered the sports realm, which is understandable because no one likes to be made fun of, especially ego centric athletes who would probably bite your ear off if you made fun of them to their face. Even you, as you read this post, you have the power to make fun of my shitty writing, for comedy sakes. Do as you want, it’s a free country.

I guess my final point would be this: everyone should just calm the fuck down and not take all of this shit too seriously. I mean c’mon, with all the people dying out in Myanmar, we’re really going to bitch about this? Let’s just relax, read some sports facts on real news websites and laugh along while we read the others.

And with that serious note, I leave you with this dramatization of Nate Longshore. Enjoy!

Hey Cal fans, it’s me your quarterback, Nate Longshore. Now I know you all have a few worries this upcoming season concerning all this quarterback controversy. Some people say I should start while other people say Riley should start. A lot of you pro Riley kiddos out there are probably wondering why I should even get consideration, seeing that I pretty much tanked during the second half of the season with my inconsistencies. Some people say I folded under pressure faster than an origami champion making cranes for a wedding. Well let me tell you something Cal fans, it was all on purpose.

I’m just thinking about my future here, okay? I mean if you look at the long term scheme of things, this is pretty much what I would be looking forward too had I decided to turn up the Nate factor all season instead of just the beginning. Say that after my 5-0 start, I went on and continued to “play for real” and led Cal to an awesome perfect season. Then we enter the National Championship Game and totally stomp on LSU or Ohio State or West Virginia. Haha, just fuckin’ with you. West Virginia in a championship game, oh Nate, where do you come up with these zingers?!

Anyway, we go on to win the championship game, then what? Well, I’d probably be a top prospect QB, rated way ahead that pretty boy Matt Ryan, and far past the guy after him. What’s his name? Joe Flacco? Isn’t that the name of Keanu Reeves character in the Replacements or something? What a freakin’ loser.

Basically, I’m a surefire number 1 pick, and guess who I get drafted by? The Miami Dolphins. Holy. Shit. Sending me to the Dolphins is like sending me to professional running for my life class. Immediately I get thrown into the wolves my first game, with no experience of course. Me playing against pro teams? The Dolphins are barely a pro team. If one of your teammates is prancing around Dancing with the Stars, then you know you’re in deep shit.

I’m pretty sure as a Dolphin, I wouldn’t know what the hell I’d be doing on the field. Hell, I’m sure most of the Dolphins still don’t know what the hell they’re doing on the field. Dave Wannestedt will do that to you.

My first game will pretty much end in a concussion. I’d be like Trent Green even before he became Trent Green. After that, the rest of my life would involve a lifetime migraine and asking the nurse where my daughter is. Not such a great future right?

That’s why I decided to stink it up last year, to lower my draft status and reap the benefits of playing for a playoff caliber team. It’d be awesome to get drafted by the Giants or Patriots. I’d be the heir apparent to Tom Brady. Hell look at Aaron Rodgers. He gets to be paid millions to relax, learn from Brett Favre, and hold a clipboard. Awesome. I tell you the warmest place in Green Bay is that bench in Lambeau. No sacks for me!

Thus, now that my draft stock is so low that even Tavita Pritchard is higher on Mel Kiper’s list than me, I’m ready to build up my stock this year. Get ready Cal, because Nasty Nate is ready to go into the first round this year for sure. You can practically smell that national championship, baby!

KC Cal writes over at the The Play in California.  He is also a Cal alumni, class of 2007.

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