Archive for Celebrities
Oh Lord…No…Why Can’t He Go Away?
As if this collapse wasn’t embarrassing enough…HE has to show up. I have no video of the event, but I’m sure it went something like… Not only does this calculating dropout clown get to shit all over us, I’m embarrassed enough in our defensive line and impressed by the man’s girth that I think we [...]
Just When You Thought You Were Out…
In the past few months, I’ve witness almost all the possible buzz you can dig up about Allison Stokke, and I’m rather exhausted by the whole thing. I’d like to move on as soon as possible with reality, which is that she’ll be a damned awesome athlete. The only thing that would make me revive [...]
Now Here’s One Athlete Who’s Embraced Her Looks
< !– google_ad_section_start –> We move from one Cal female athlete who supposedly shies away from the limelight to one who properly embraces it. Elizabeth Dindial, who graduated last year from Cal, has been utilizing her physical talents to maximal advantage to help educate, inform, and help us all.< !– google_ad_section_end –> Oh yeah, and [...]
Taking it to the Limit (and No More)
Allison Stokke is busying up for her freshman year at Cal, and she’s tired of all the attention you’re giving her. So she decided to express her desire to avoid the limelight by going on ESPN Radio’s The Big Show earlier this week to confront these issues. Because what better place to avoid the leers [...]
Wait, Survivor is Still on the Air?
Meet UC Berkeley’s Coolest IT man, Yau-Man Chan. Apparently in this reality show world of cutthroat backstabbing and feel-bad sniping, this humble sage has brought back some mental stability and trust into a world where survival of the fittest is everything. This season’s recent Survivor:Fiji results proved stunningly disappointing for fans of Yau-Man Chan, the [...]
To Those Of You Who Say Cal Girls Aren’t Hot…
We present to you Exhibit A. We’re not just talking about looks (and boy does she have them), because she also has far more. The girl in profile will tell you herself the remaining otherworldly characteristics she possesses. Early this month, 18-year-old Allison Stokke walked into her high school track coach’s office and asked if [...]
John Woo is Set to Direct Bruce Willis’s Hollywood Rampage
Bruce Willis has taken time off from hanging off skyscrapers and pirouetting onto helicopter ladders to blast his brethren for espousing their grand causes. BRUCE WILLIS is fed up with listening to outspoken actors – and believes their opinion shouldn’t mean “jack s**t” to the general public. The Die Hard star understands some of his [...]
Jerry Falwell Died, But His Fatass Legacy Will Live Forever
What, were you expecting a eulogy? We’ll let the good Reverend speak for himself. On Sept. 11: “The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, [...]
Round 1 of Finals is Over; Let Max Weinberg Play You A Tune
We send you into the quiet Saturday night after your first bout of Finals-mania with a Conan O’Brien interview from CalTV. Apparently the interviewer shares the views of Bill O’Reilly in that we all smoke pot. Way to be stereotypical Cal graduate. We bet you drank plenty of coffee and always asked annoying questions in [...]
No George, NOOOOOOOOOOO!
In some ways, George Lucas, himself a local Bay Area resident over at Skywalker Ranch, reminds us of an aging sports wunderkind who never really figured out that his time had past. After shooting to stardom and enjoying nearly decades of unparalleled success, they kept on tinkering, kept on playing until the point were they [...]
