Archive for Sports
Dispatch to San Francisco, STOP! You Are A Fucking Cheater, STOP!
You might be curious as to what Hank Aaron will do the day Barry Bonds, barring freak incident, inexorably breaks his home run record. We conjecture he’ll probably be sticking needles into voodoo dolls (oh, the double irony) of Barry’s giant head until the day 756 goes up on the AT&T Park scoreboard. “I’m sorry [...]
Jason Kidd, Role Model
You know, it figures the best basketball player to come out of Cal would end up being socially screwed up. Page Six won’t leave Jason Kidd alone: This morning’s column has an item on the Net cavorting with a “hot young model” in NYC last weekend. Page Six’s source also reports that Kidd has “a [...]
DeVon Hardin Doesn’t Want You Eating His Lucky Charms
In a move that’s been widely reported and expected, DeVon Hardin, the 6’11″ Cal junior center, has declared himself eligible for the NBA draft. This decision comes despite the fact he only played 11 games the past year, although the lack of an agent allows us to contemplate his return. We think that the real [...]
We Once Were Kings
We knew it was coming, yet none of us were really hoping it happened officially. The Sacramento Kings won’t be playing into May. And it’s a spot we’d better get comfortable at through the rest of the decade. We could write eons about the influence of the Kings on the NBA. How the team gave [...]
We Know It’s Not the NBA Finals, But it Might as Well Be
With the Kings about to be eliminated anytime this week barring an improbable win streak by us/collapse by other California teams, you, Kings fan, might find yourself apathetic about the NBA “two year long” playoffs coming up. Well fear no more. Your Kings Dancers have taken up the ball and are currently vying for a [...]
Jim Nantz, You’re Still Not My Friend
We have to admit, there’s always something special about Sunday at Augusta National that seperates it from any other golf event, even when the course is winning and the players are losing, the weather is 30 degrees below normal, and no one has had a remarkable round up through the first 54. Tiger’s even par [...]
Stripping for the Earth (Warning: Not Safe Ever)
See, this is why we need nudist laws. It seems anyone who ever strips in public are the people we never want to see naked. Embrace the ground my friends! It’s terrible that your cause will have no effect on the actual decision (there’s actually an injunction on retrofitting the stadium for seismological reasons, not [...]
