Archive for Students
Perhaps Her Punishment Should Be Exile to Claremont
After the chaos of the Azia Kim “debacle”, Stanford is in self-correcting mode. At this moment punishments are being handed down that will surely have severe ramifications on residential life….right? Stanford imposter Azia Kim may get off easier than many have expected, despite national coverage of her eight-month masquerade as a Stanford student. Neither law [...]
UC Berkeley: Making You Feel Less in Debt, Part II
(In a rare act of charity, our beloved school has decided to bestow several students who have excelled in their fields with precious scholarships to shroud them in the idea that they won’t be poor the rest of their lives. We’re certain the people who earned these awards will not splurge their money on copious [...]
To Those Of You Who Say Cal Girls Aren’t Hot…
We present to you Exhibit A. We’re not just talking about looks (and boy does she have them), because she also has far more. The girl in profile will tell you herself the remaining otherworldly characteristics she possesses. Early this month, 18-year-old Allison Stokke walked into her high school track coach’s office and asked if [...]
UC Berkeley: Making You Feel Less in Debt, Part I
In a rare act of charity, our beloved school has decided to bestow several students who have excelled in their fields with precious scholarships to shroud them in the idea that they won’t be poor the rest of their lives. We will be featuring several of them over the next couple of days, with the [...]
Oh Yeah, Stanford Cares About OUR Opinion
Considering it’s dead air time around Berkeley (which would explain our infrequent posting schedule since school ended), the big story we’ve been relating about a thousand times is the Stanford impostor story. Or two, to be precise. So of course, the foremost experts on this subject decided to weigh in with their opinions, just to [...]
Sadly, Killing Yourself Doesn’t Improve Your Grades
This story is sobering (if you have trouble logging in, use Bug Me Not). Proceed with caution. “We have had an increasing number of students with serious mental health problems while services are lacking,” said UC Santa Barbara Vice Chancellor Michael Young, co-chairman of the Student Mental Health Committee. “We just don’t have the appropriate [...]
Want to Attend Stanford? Find A Room And Settle In!
Our second tier cousins across the Bay just continue to shine with prescience right into this sunny weekend. Not one day after Azia Kim gets outed for not being a Stanford student because RAs decided to put a yearbook together and realized no one knew anything about her, another nonthreatening squatter gets her own comeuppance [...]
See Folks, THIS Is How You Get Into Stanford
Most Cal Alumni know that the Tree across the Bay does not easily uncurl its bushes to let others into its feeble branches. So this awesome article about just comes off as hilarious to us in so many ways. All these nuggets of info in this column drive this story into the Pantheon of Hilarity. [...]
Can We Just Move Our Stuff Into Evans Hall?
Well well. It appears that the city advocating peace and nirvana and Marxism also succumbs to its own cases of bureaucratic corruption. Berkeley’s Housing Authority paid federal rent subsidies to landlords for 15 dead tenants “some for at least two years” according to a pair of scathing reports to the Berkeley City Council Tuesday night. [...]
And the Lesson, As Always…Asian Guys Are Losers
We have to admit, we like this video. It’s cheesy, it’s corny, it’s stereotypical, it’s practically live action anime slapstick. And the ending is so true. Tall white dudes with a modicum of dignity and confidence will get whatever they want in Berkeley, and the market for cute females here is wide open for them [...]
