Archive for UC Berkeley
What are Ethics? Telebears XVI–Philosophy
Philosophers used to be beings of greatness, counselors of judgment, of right and wrong, the classical intellectual heroes. Now with science having rendered their contributions to society useless, they now throw out useless hypotheticals to each other, like “If you’re moving in a speeding car at 30 mph, and there are children playing in a […]
The French Care Only if They Pronounce The Words Properly, Telebears XV–Linguistics
The best way to start off the week is with a major no one ever thinks about when they enter college. Which is kinda sad, because we can’t imagine a cooler major to take for fun. Learn about random languages, phonetics, metaphor, imagery. It’s sort of like English, except less essays. Oh yeah, and you’ll […]
The Waitlists! They are Broken!
Just in case you’re uber-stressed about having to get into your Chem 3A 5 PM Lab, and you’re about, well, congrats chaps, your more fortunate friends are going to have to do it all over again! As far as we can tell, Telebears has crashed the classes you couldn’t get into. Cal Patriot and the […]
The Bears Are Whimpering
Well, we promised you a draft update when a Bear got drafted…and, about eight hours later, we deliver. Two more Bears are heading to the next level, one overvalued, one seemingly undervalued. With the 85th pick in the third round, the Seattle Seahawks select Cal defensive tackle Brandon Mebane (6’1â€, 305 pounds). Filling a desperate […]
Marshawn Lynch, Circling the Wagons With His Pimped Out Cart
In our excitement over the Warriors, we completely forgot that Golden Bears are going pro today. So imagine our delight when we opened up ESPN and saw where Money Lynch was going. Man, this weekend keeps on getting better and better. With the Sabres a Stanley Cup favorite, perhaps God is turning his eye to […]
There? Their? Or They’re? Telebears XIV–English
English must be fun. Go to lecture, listen to absorbing thoughts about the most amazing texts ever written, write essays about those texts, and then have the professor/GSI knock you down because your interpretation doesn’t coincide with theirs. Must always be fun being an English major. Here’s what the students say about their fickle profs. […]
David Halberstam, 1934-2007
Pulitizer Prize winner David Halberstam, one of the greatest non-fiction storytellers of our generation, died yesterday when a car broadsided the vehicle in which he was a passenger. Kevin Jones, the driver and a UC Berkeley journalism student, was injured but survived. I haven’t read too much Halberstam, but I always knew he was a […]
I’ll Really Wish I Had Majored in Econ: Telebears XIII–History
History is one of those subjects you try to avoid for the entirety of your time in school, simply because secondary school teachers like to ram into you many facts. Yes, that brutal bastard Christopher Columbus discovered American islands in 1492. Yes, Lewis and Clark teamed up with Sacagawea for the most successful threesome […]
You’ll Need More Than Hypnosis To Forget Your Grades (Telebears XII–Psychology)
Psychologists. All they need are comfortable sofas and a notepad to do their job effectively. If you manage to make it into this field, you are so set for life. You don’t even have to be very good, just nod your head, offer some vague advice, and then move onto next patient. Pretty decent way […]
My Thought Bubbles Are Bigger Than Yours (Telebears XI–PEIS/Political Science)
Just from the gentle imagery and message you see to your left, you can tell politicians are some of the sweetest, most well-intentioned people you will ever meet. Sterling leaders of our great nation with their heart in the right place, they will always try to lead America to the Promised Land. Literally; we’re almost […]
