What are Ethics? Telebears XVI–Philosophy

Posted by: Avinash on Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

Philosophers used to be beings of greatness, counselors of judgment, of right and wrong, the classical intellectual heroes. Now with science having rendered their contributions to society useless, they now throw out useless hypotheticals to each other, like “If you’re moving in a speeding car at 30 mph, and there are children playing in a yard to your right and a helpless baby flailing on the road right in front of you, is it the ethical decision to dump yourself off on that cliff to the left, hurtling to your death?”Yeah, these guys will have all sorts of fun in law school. And drive every hard working man and woman to drink their woeful nights away. Their professors who led them down this path shouldn’t be too annoying though, right? Here’s what their students have to say.

Read the rest of this entry »

At This Rate, Baron Davis Will be Our Next Governor

Posted by: Avinash on Monday, April 30th, 2007

[youtube eqQiu4J1sms]

Baron Davis love has become contagious at this point in Northern California, but we can’t wrap up our posting today without showing you this lovely video of him taking a day to work at a local McDonalds, a la Mark Cuban at Dairy Queen. By the end of this video and certainly by the end of these playoffs, you will not only be convinced that Stephen Jackson needs a talk show at some point after basketball, but also that Davis will need to be his Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog.

NBA Life-Baron Davis [YouTube]

Topics: Golden State Warriors, Sports, Video | Comments Off on At This Rate, Baron Davis Will be Our Next Governor

The French Care Only if They Pronounce The Words Properly, Telebears XV–Linguistics

Posted by: Avinash on Monday, April 30th, 2007

The best way to start off the week is with a major no one ever thinks about when they enter college. Which is kinda sad, because we can’t imagine a cooler major to take for fun. Learn about random languages, phonetics, metaphor, imagery. It’s sort of like English, except less essays. Oh yeah, and you’ll probably get paid way less when you leave college, unless you go help out our lovely politician friends, like George Lakoff and his fantastic nosehairs to the left. So let the students shed the light behind the professors who look at the words, right after the jump.

(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Leave them in the comments.)

Read the rest of this entry »

Falling In Love All Over Again

Posted by: Avinash on Monday, April 30th, 2007

(Special from your editor’s sports journal, Get Up Eight Times. This was written after Game 4.)

You know, it seems at every point in my life, a basketball team comes along at just the right time to rein me back into the NBA. In the American sports climate, basketball continues its steady decline into the second tier of sports, falling behind even golf and (gag) auto racing in popularity. It hasn’t even been easy for the diehard basketball fan in me to keep on watching, simply because I’m a drifter with no real allegiance to any team, going with the right group at the right moment.

Because of my constant movement around the country and my birthplace in roundball-less Buffalo, I’ve never really had a basketball team to root for, instead drifting from team to team depending on location or the brand of basketball they brought to the floor. I loved the movement and flow that this league contained, and latched onto it from the moment Paxson sank that 3 in Phoenix. At that time, nothing seemed more exciting than NBA basketball.

Read the rest of this entry »

Topics: Golden State Warriors, Sacramento Kings, Sports | Comments Off on Falling In Love All Over Again

Unluckiest Pass in the World

Posted by: Avinash on Monday, April 30th, 2007

We wonder why God seems to outright despise the MacArthur Maze. 18 years after heavy seismic retrofits from Loma Prieta, his Almighty decides that outright tanker fire is what’s needed to do the job.

Huge leaping flames from an exploding gasoline tanker melted the steel underbelly of a highway overpass in the East Bay’s MacArthur Maze early this morning, causing it to collapse onto the roadway below and virtually ensuring major traffic problems for weeks to come.

The elevated roadway that fell carried eastbound traffic from the Bay Bridge onto Interstates 580 and 980 and state Highway 24. It draped like a blanket over a roadway below, a connector from southbound I-80 to I-880 that also was severely damaged.

The single-vehicle crash occurred on the lower roadway when the tanker, loaded with 8,600 gallons of unleaded gasoline and heading from a refinery in Benicia to a gas station on Hegenberger Road in Oakland, hit a guardrail at 3:41 a.m.

Engineers said the green steel frame of the I-580 overpass and the bolts holding the frame together began to melt and bend in the intense heat– and that movement pulled the roadbed off its supports.

Didn’t those college dropout geniuses who made Loose Change already prove that heat can’t burn steel? Clearly the government has it out for the liberal blue states. That has to be it. But no, not even the lefties are going to bring out the real story. We’re just going to have to make our own hipster video with loose facts and logical fallacies. The media, always making us poor idiot students do all the truth-seeking.

Tanker fire destroys part of MacArthur Maze [SF Chronicle]
(Image from SF Chronicle)

The Waitlists! They are Broken!

Posted by: Avinash on Sunday, April 29th, 2007

Just in case you’re uber-stressed about having to get into your Chem 3A 5 PM Lab, and you’re about, well, congrats chaps, your more fortunate friends are going to have to do it all over again! As far as we can tell, Telebears has crashed the classes you couldn’t get into. Cal Patriot and the Berkeley Livejournal blog have reported such difficulties entering the system, so we’re guessing you need to start over in some regards.

Well never fear. If you don’t want to go back and reanalyze all the crappy, hopeless selections you have to make for your annoying but required 250 student lectures, you can just click on our schedules category right here and peruse any of the subjects we have covered over the past few weeks. We’re shameless in our promotion of ourselves, we know. But it’ll make the processing easier rather than slogging through RateMyProfessors

This will be our last week of coverage before finals, before we give our best/worst professor ratings the week after.

Subjects this week
Monday: Linguistics
Tuesday: Philosophy
Wednesday: Anthropology
Thursday: Sociology

Fall 2007 Scheduling on Telebears

Wait, where is the list?
[California Patriot Blog]
Telebears, arhgghghg [Berkeley Livejournal]
(Image from Life on the Wicked Stage)

He Isn’t Exactly the Minister of Defense

Posted by: Avinash on Sunday, April 29th, 2007

It’s a late pick and probably the last Bear going to the pros in this draft (only Tim Mixon is left), but hey, we’ll take what we can get–Cal rarely gets this many people out in one year.

With the 192nd pick overall in the 6th round, Ted Thompson grabbed Cal linebacker Desmond Bishop.  He has been called “The Pulse” of the Cal defense on his way to leading the Pac-10 in tackles.  He played middle linebacker in college but with Nick Barnett and Abdul Hodge at that position he’ll move to the outside in Green Bay.

It looks like Hughes, Lynch and Bishop will all see considerable time next year, so we should see early how well these players transition into the NFL.

Packers take two Linebackers in the 6th
[Wisconsin Radio Network]
(Image from Seattle PI)

The Bears Are Whimpering

Posted by: Avinash on Saturday, April 28th, 2007

Well, we promised you a draft update when a Bear got drafted…and, about eight hours later, we deliver. Two more Bears are heading to the next level, one overvalued, one seemingly undervalued.

With the 85th pick in the third round, the Seattle Seahawks select Cal defensive tackle Brandon Mebane (6’1”, 305 pounds). Filling a desperate need with the unknown post-microfracture status of Marcus Tubbs, Mebane can stop the run and penetrate offense lines to pressure quarterbacks. Mebane stood out at the Senior Bowl, and started 31 of his 41 games at Cal…

Colts selected California CB Daymeion Hughes with the No. 94 overall pick in the NFL Draft. Hughes, who had eight INTs and 19 pass breakups to lead the Pac Ten in 2006, is a perfect fit in Indy’s Tampa 2. He fell due to a lack of great athleticism, but plays fast enough in games and has ideal ball skills. Hughes could push to start immediately. This is exactly why Indianapolis let Jason David walk; Tampa 2 corners can be had later on in drafts.

We saw Mebane this year with his impressive…emotions; despite his statistical shortcomings, we’re sure he’ll bring something to the Seahawks that they might need–other than pot of course. As for Hughes, he’s immediately placed in a no-lose situation with a dead-last defense that just won a Super Bowl, so he’ll probably see as much time as Marshawn. Not quite sure what type of NFL player he’ll be, but he did get burned by USC, so that’s worrisome. But it looks like he’ll fit well into the system.

That’s it for tonight. See ya tomorrow.

Seahawks 2007 Draft: As It Happens! [Scout.com]
Colts select Hughes after he plummets [Rotoworld.com]
(Image from CNN)

Marshawn Lynch, Circling the Wagons With His Pimped Out Cart

Posted by: Avinash on Saturday, April 28th, 2007


In our excitement over the Warriors, we completely forgot that Golden Bears are going pro today. So imagine our delight when we opened up ESPN and saw where Money Lynch was going. Man, this weekend keeps on getting better and better. With the Sabres a Stanley Cup favorite, perhaps God is turning his eye to the beleaguered Buffalo fans at last.

Hello, Marshawn Lynch. It didn’t take long for the Buffalo Bills to find Willis McGahee’s replacement.

The Bills selected Lynch, the California running back, with the No. 12 pick in the NFL draft on Saturday, a month after trading McGahee to Baltimore.

Lynch is listed at 6-foot-1 and 219 pounds and is considered to have explosive speed, catching ability and enough power to be able to run inside. Entering the draft following his junior year, Lynch combined for 2,602 yards rushing and 21 touchdowns in his past two seasons.

He finished with 1,356 yards rushing and 11 touchdowns rushing last season, while also proving a threat as a receiver. He had 328 yards receiving with four touchdowns.

I’m glad to know that 850 year old Marv Levy (aka Yoda) has still got it. The five people who are reading this so far might not know this, but the Bills are my team. Born and raised in Buffalo, I root and die with this team. So to see two of my favorite franchises (Cal and Buffalo) unite borders on utter bliss. And Lynch should fit well into the conservative game calling of Dick Jauron, where J.P. Losman is still a year or two away from becoming a polished quarterback. So we’ll see pretty early if Marshawn can handle the NFL.

Fellow Buffalo fans, this is what you will be seeing this year. Don’t worry too much about the image issues–it’s mostly hyper inflated by the media. Just get ready for the experience.

(Note: We will update you on when any other Cal players get drafted. Stay tuned.)

NFL DRAFT: Bills open by selecting RB Lynch [SF Chronicle]
Marshawn Lynch 2006 [YouTube]
(Image from SF Chronicle)

The Way of A Warrior

Posted by: Avinash on Saturday, April 28th, 2007

We try to avoid hyperbole around these parts, but man, last night’s game was incredible. Even sitting in the back back row of the arena, the excitement in the stadium is too difficult to describe. We wish we could send you that picture of the Indian dude Bhangra-ing up in the 4th row, but I think this is adequate enough.

That being said, Dallas is now down 2-1 in a series in which they’ve been thoroughly outplayed, culminating in a perfect Game 3 by Golden State. The Warriors have held even or played better than them for 10 out of 12 quarters, and who knows what would have happened if there wasn’t a meltdown in Game 2.

We’re not sure what to make of Golden State owning Dallas’s jock. It’s like the Mavericks are Federer, the Warriors are Nadal, and the arena is made of clay. Avery looked completely flummoxed during that game, up to the point that Austin Croshere and Maurice Ager got decent 2nd half minutes. 67% free throw shooting brings up Finals memories. The Diop/Dampier combo was completely ineffective. Their longest unanswered scoring streak of the game was nine points (four). 40 missed jump shots and a -20 point differential in the paint for Dallas. What the hell? Is Avery really trying to out-small ball the Warriors? More power to them if they try it again, but the result will probably be 3-1 and the overrated calls in the media will come louder than ever.

It has to be Nellie. It must be Nellie. I didn’t believe before this game. But we’ll know in about 36 hours whether this was the best Golden State had to offer.

Warriors 109, Mavericks 91 [NBA]
(Image from Yahoo)