Meeting People in College–What?
Excuses. We all have a thousand of them. It’s our way of postponing life, relationships, work, ideas, happiness. It’s often a hard road to find these five things. It’s a much easier road to say how how I wish I could’ve gotten there; I was just never good enough. I guess this is okay when you’re in college (hell, I still make them all the time), but the real world looms on the other side. Soon excuses will start ratcheting up the stink. Learn to excise them before you start entering the parts of life that really really matter.
So let’s look at the students on Our Sturdy Golden Bear, who are always good for more amusing excuses for delaying life. Although some of these statements have an element of facetiousness to them, there’s a kernel of excuse existing within each and every one. Let’s commence:
I FIND MOST CONVERSATIONS WITH MANY WOMEN DULL.
What if I just like staring back? or if i make a move and said girl plays hard to get? (i don’t mind the 2nd part but i don’t enjoy the indecisiveness.)
A blatant cover-up for “I’m afraid of being rejected and do not want to put the work in”, although far more entertaining than posts on such threads. I doubt he was being serious, but if you actually DO find conversations with a group so broad boring, you either suck as a person or don’t talk to more than three or four women a year (those criteria aren’t mutually exclusive). Go outside and find ways to meet people (how to do that we’ll be covered later).
You know, you (girl) could always start the conversation and ask them (guys) out for coffee. Who says they have to ask you?
Aha, the classic “Why must I always do everything?” excuse. Apparently these people were also taught that “Good things come to those who wait”, a philosophy that has bred many a lonely cat lady. And cat dudes, if they even exist.
Even though I never ruled it out, that may be one of the top reasons why I haven’t really dated Cal guys…I guess dating someone that goes to Cal with me is not really going to happen oh well, it’s best to date outside of the bubble, it sucks when it doesn’t work out and becomes awkward to pass through the campus in fear of bumping into each other, it’s happened to my friends…all the time and still is.
Sigh, still, it’d be nice to go study together with someone that can stay all the time…why oh why won’t they just say hi or something, I guess I don’t say hi either if I’m staring at a guy…but oh well, cheers to the non-date-ables…and those that have smiled at me.
Now this is the person of interest speaking. I wouldn’t be surprised if this sentiment is echoed by many a girl here–it’s crazy how social circles at Cal still seem to run on closed loops. So don’t you think there are plenty of girls out there who crave some cue that you’re interested in them?
At the same time, ladies, if you really want guys to talk to you, show at least mild interest. It’s awkward to go up to a girl who doesn’t smile back at your glance. You’ve been given a physical cue that you’re worth looking at. Show some interest!
You smile at me first…I’d rather not risk getting the creep/rapist look. Girl smiling at guy never has the creep/rapist risk. We will never look at you like “ew” even if you’re super ugly.
It’s game theory. My best response is to not look creepy, yours is to smile. Yes, you smile first and everyone is better off.
See what I mean?
Actually, this is still a bit of an excuse. Girls don’t need to smile to show their interest–it might be the easiest cue to notice, but ladies are much more subtle with their signs. Just watch the way they react to you and don’t give up so easily.
So we’ve gotten over some of the main excuses, but I think we haven’t approached the core of the problem. Namely, that most of you aren’t ready to approach new people. So after all the excuses we might need some more elaboration.
I think the problem I face is I really like the shy geeky boys, but being a shy girl myself makes it difficult to actually talk to them. I also don’t even notice when someone is flirting with me, I just assume they are friendly.
My ex had to physically run into me to get me to talk to him. Sad but true.
Sigh. Didn’t we get over this in high school? Apparently not. So you’re shy. Not a terrible vice. But if you can’t understand when someone is interested in you…well, it’s time to delve into the how to pick that up. That’s coming later. Stay tuned.
Anyone have their favorite excuses for passing up on meeting people or having fun with others? Comment on your misery.
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