Adjust Your Tassels, Part VI (Graduation Ceremonies, May 18th)
Anthropology at Zellerbach Auditorium, 9 AM. Nelson Graburn is the speaker. He likes Inuits.
Molecular and Cell Biology at Greek Theatre, 9 AM. Michael Levine will talk about stuff. MCB majors will be fidgety until the last minute until someone hands them their empty diploma so they can finally exhale.
Energy and Resources Group at Alumni House, 10 AM. Peter Vitousek, who has the largest lab in the world, addresses the crowd.
Ethnic Studies at Zellerbach Playhouse, 1 PM. Professor Robin Kelley is a black male femi-Marxist who is working on a biography of Thelonious Monk. Prototypical Berkeley speaker.
Statistics at Sibley Auditorium, 1:30 PM. Alex C. Bajamonde worked with graphs. He also gets to talk.
Sociology at Zellerbach Auditorium, 1:45 PM. Christopher Edley, Jr. will be laying down the law.
Political Science at Greek Theatre, 2 PM. Ted Cruz, Solicitor General of Texas can outdebate you any day of the week, so you’d better be glad he’s the only one talking.
Art Practice at Berkeley Art Museum in Sculpture Garden, 3 PM. Brett Cooke-Dizney is supposedly a famous artist. We can’t find any of his works online, or even a biography. We guess by famous they mean Berkeley obscure famous.
Astronomy, Physical Science and Physics at Zellerbach Auditorium, 7 PM. Dr. Sylvester Gates Jr. will immediately dispel the notion that physics isn’t a cool major. If you stuck this cool cat in a box, no doubt in our minds he’d be living it through.
(Image from LowConcept)


