All submissions should go towards the message board threads dedicated to these contests (links provided in the title) or toward our contact form.
Frat Contest–Why You Should Pledge Our Frat
(Deadline for entries, August 31st)
Look, the only time I’ve been in a frat was to play air hockey. Berkeley might be the greatest school in the world, but it’s damned near impossible to find a decent air hockey table. What’s up with that? This is one of the ten greatest recreational inventions known to man, and you can’t find a decent place to put one? No-fun Berkeley.
Nevertheless, many people (including those types we call friends) are into frats, and beer, and cheap booze, and cheap rooms, and easy sex. Okay, maybe that last part isn’t so easy, considering the collective intelligence we witness on Piedmont Saturday nights. But those first four are still qualifiers. So if you want to help out your betas, your alphas, your taus, go ahead and start writing up and we’ll publicize your reactions to the Berkeley guys out there who are looking to pledge!
At the least, your entry should be at least 400 words long and can go up to around 750 (although these are soft boundaries, you can go over or under this).
Do not regurgitate the same old “About Us” message. Say something fresh about your frat that you won’t find on your house’s website.
If you don’t have any ideas about what to write, here are some suggestions:
–Talk about new and interesting things that your frat does that no one else does, whether it’s streaking down Channing at midnight or threesomeing with chicks at the nearby Delta.
–Share a funny anecdote that reflects the awesomeness/stupidity/both of your brothers.
–Name all the perks. Show off and brag away. But people know that living in a frat isn’t exactly the Palace of Versailles. Let them know the good and bad.
Major Contest–Why Our Major Sucks
(No real deadline, any majors that haven’t been covered accepted)
Ok, that title above doesn’t have to be the exact parameters of this contest, but it’s pretty damned close. You know that ridiculously optimistic and cheery attitude that you get when you come to Berkeley during Homecoming and Cal Day? All the smiling faces, the eager experiments, the genuine happy mood all the clubs get when they congregate together and advertise to youngins? We haven’t gone once. We doubt you have either.
Why? Because anyone who’s attended Berkeley knows that this school is barely like that. Once you get in, your best is not nearly good enough for the domineering professors and unsympathetic advising offices. Force yourself to come to grips with the reality that you’re not nearly as important as you once thought you were. Adapt or die my friends.
Now that you’re either enduring or moving on past the horrors of battling the system, let the rest of Berkeley and the world know about this dark, compelling side of Berkeley. Retell the horror stories. It’s the closest thing to war most of these students will ever experience. Well, unless you’re a humanities major.
–Somewhere from 500 to 750 words would be ideal, but again, soft boundaries (take as much space as you’d like).
–Dwell on the good and the bad. The awesome and the crazy. The horrible teachers or the great advisors. Whatever comes to mind, put it into coherent sentences and run with it.
–You probably shouldn’t entirely bash or praise your major. Balance would be great, as long as you don’t push too much either way.
–To avoid repetition, we only want one representative from each major every semester. If we get less feedback than we expect, every year. But just keep an eye on the writing contest tag to keep tabs on what majors are left and whether you still have a chance to contribute with yours.