Jinx Removing

Posted by: Tony on Wednesday, May 28th, 2008

Dollies

In my everyday life I’m a cold, secular rationalist.  But I am superstitious about exactly one thing:  sports.  In my mind, part of what makes being a fan fun is suspending your disbelief and allowing the conceit that what you do, as a spectator, might have a small impact on outcomes.  Of course, since football is a game of inches, small impacts are never really small.  In that context superstition can be maddeningly consequential.  So I think it’s very important that Cal fans figure out how not to jinx their Bears.  Here are the rules I can think of.  If you disagree or can think of others, please alert all of us in the comments.

Don’t Boo Your Bears

Avinash’s recent post on this subject got me thinking.  In my humble opinion, the hallmark of fandom is loyalty.  Loyalty doesn’t mean blind devotion.  It’s ok to be disappointed or even disgusted by your team.  But loyalty requires that you not turn on your team.  If you boo your team, you’re turning on them.  The football gods will assess your fandom as poor and appropriately reward you with poor performance.  You don’t boo your family.  You don’t boo your country (even in Berkeley).  And you don’t boo your Alma Mater.

Don’t Wear Red

Ok, I know this one sounds obvious.  But I’m not just talking about gameday here.  Don’t wear red.  Ever.  Your wardrobe has no room for it.  Aside from maybe holiday-themed neckties or undergarments, red clothing is totally unnecessarily.  Get rid of it and (trust me) no one will notice.

Don’t Hook Up With Stanfurdites

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you say it would never happen.  But at some point in your life you’re going to be tempted — be it out of lust, desperation, intoxication or pity (perhaps self-pity).  Some Cardinal girl or guy (like it matters) will stroll up wearing a ridiculous costume made of cardboard tubing, sequins and glitter-glue and will say some boring nonsense meant to be cleverly ironic… and you’ll be tempted.  But you’re better than that, and your Bears need you to stay strong even in moments of weakness.

Don’t Start “Roll On You Bears” Until Cal Crosses Midfield

This one kills me every time.  Some drunk yahoo starts up Roll On as soon as Cal makes a first down at their own 33.  This of course assures a 1.5 yard run, followed by two incompletions and a punt.  If you don’t wait until Cal crosses the 50, you will make Cal not cross the 50.

Don’t Root for Stanfurd

Ever.  Even if they’re beating U$C.  Even if they’re up against Notre Dame or Texas or some other miserable excuse for an institution of higher learning.  And don’t root for U$C unless they’re playing Stanfurd or Notre Dame or representing the conference in a bowl game.  You can root for UCLA occasionally, but do it with condescension. 

Don’t Miss Games

Depending on where you live, you can’t always attend the games.  But you can always either watch them or at least listen to them.  Living in New York, this rule hasn’t always been easy for me to follow, especially during the Holmoe years when only a couple games would be available on TV here each season.  But it is crucial.  And don’t make exceptions for weddings.  Your friends should know to not schedule their weddings on Fall Saturdays.  Case in point:  I attended a wedding instead of watching the OSU game last year.  Trust me, you don’t want something like that on your conscience. 



Topics: Cal Football, Stanford, UCLA, USC

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Avinash · 878 weeks ago

UCLA? Who the hell roots for anything from LA, anytime?

I went home with bizarre symptoms instead of going to the OSU game. This was wise. My shocked and suicidal corpse would otherwise be decomposing under Row 12 somewhere.

Glad to see that Stanford is recruiting junior high cheerleaders. 'Underdeveloped' seems to be the apt term here.
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ragnarok · 878 weeks ago

I'm right with ya on the 'Roll On You Bears' chant. WE HAVE TO BE ON A ROLL FIRST!

I'm sorry, though, when Stanfurd was beating U$C, I was totally rooting for the 'Furd. In fact, I find it acceptable to root for any team if it will help the Bears (by beating someone ranked higher, or higher up in the standings). You don't have to like it, or sing the fight song or whatever, but a quiet fist pump when a conference rival takes down another top 10 team seems appropriate.

Also, portable radios are a must for ill-timed weddings -- which, by the way, I have no tolerance for. I scheduled my wedding so that I'd be back from the honeymoon in time for the Tennessee game. No one's missing football on *my* account.
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Tony · 878 weeks ago

A portable radio sounds like a good idea. My fixation on my blackberry during the reception nearly got me dumped by my date (it was her best friend's wedding). You can imagine my confusion when the gametracker suddenly jumped without explanation from Cal 1st and 10 from the 12 with 14 seconds to go to "F OSU 31, Cal 28." Never again dammit!
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Avinash · 878 weeks ago

I rooted for the Furdies only because of the sheer awesomeness of the season of upsets, this would take the cake, and I was under the presumption Tedford would never ever permit himself to lose to them,. At 5-0 through September, that felt like a logical presumption. Whoops.
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HydroTech · 878 weeks ago

I've already told all my friends that if they get married on the same day as a home Cal Football game that they shouldn't expect me to be at their wedding. I have priorities - and watching one of my friends make the biggest mistake of their life isn't one of them.
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Jim · 878 weeks ago

Sorry dude, Dollies rock, there is no comparable to Cal Dance Team. Yes, Hook Up With Stanfurdites if hot
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BeastMode · 877 weeks ago

Agreed on Roll On You Bears, agreed on not booing, and agreed on not missing games. However, as much as I hate the Furd, part of me was rooting for them against USC. On the other hand, after they one, I did feel guilty. As for not hooking up with a Stanfurdite, I think the key is not to date one. Oh, and not wearing red, that's kind of hard isn't it? I know a bunch of Bears that refuse to wear red for any occasion. But, my general rule is not on campus, not in the city of Berkeley, and certainly not to a game.
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Olsonist · 876 weeks ago

I'm with you on most of this except

Don’t Hook Up With Stanfurdites

You have got to be kidding. Stanford chicks are hot. And sorry, but I hate $c more than Stanford.
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