BREAKING: Cal Starting Quarterback Announced

Posted by: Avinash on Wednesday, June 25th, 2008

Given all the buzz behind Nate Longshore and Kevin Riley, Jeff Tedford has made a surprise decision about who his quarterback will be at a special 9 am press conference early this morning.

“After much deliberation……I’ve decided to let Leon Powe give it a shot in the backfield.”

“Leon has proven this past season that he’s capable of making the right decisions for a young group of new guys, while at the same time mixingin with a strong core of veterans. Given our team’s hunger for a champion, our fan’s need for excitement and mobility, and its need for professional leadership, I think Powe was the right decision. He should fit well in his return to Cal and I know our team will stand by him through thick and thin.”

The news sent shockwaves throughout the Bay Area, especially around Memorial Stadium. Several treesitters jumped out of the trees in shock, only to frantically climb back up after realizing they’d landed in their famed buckets of glory. But perhaps the most surprising reactions were the immediate voices of approval from the quarterbacks who’d been competing for the job from opening day.

“I fully stand behind our Coach’s decision.” Longshore said in a press release. “There’s no doubt that in the clutch that Leon gets it done. He took down Kobe Bryant. He took down the MVP! Would I ever be able to outrun Glenn Dorsey in the title game? I’m not sure about that. I usually like standing in one place. Standing in one place is good. Conserves energy. Leon runs the floor like a madman. He’ll definitely give them the spacing. Good things happen when Leon’s on your team.”

Even the usually energetic and confident Riley seemed to have pep in his step.

“No doubt I don’t have enough experience to step up into the huddle yet. But Leon? Leon’s got that experience man. He plays 82 games a year. I’ve played like one and a half. I’m glad he’s decided to come back to Cal to help us chase the roses. Definitely couldn’t have done it with Braunmeister in charge.”

“And there’s no doubt Coach will stick with him. Coach sticks with his men through thick and thin, no matter how bad things get. He’s like the anti-Doc Rivers, and they managed to win a title in spite of everything he did.”

When reached for comment, Doc Rivers said, “Players make plays. Good players make good plays. Great players play hard. Leon Powe plays exceptionally hard. I’m sure he’ll play very hard.”

Kevin Garnett said of his backup, “He’s certified, man. He’s certified. He has the ubuntu, that’s for sure. He knows what winning is all about. Don’t people over there use it all the time? He’s certified man.”

Leon could not be reached for comment, as he is currently working with Jimmy Carter to help resolve the Darfur crisis.

Topics: Cal Basketball, Cal Football, Comedy, humor, NBA, Players, Quarterbacks

None Found

Comments (7)

Logging you in...

Dashboard | Edit profile | Logout

Logged in as

0 Vote up Vote down

ragnarok · 875 weeks ago

now's that's a great teaser paragraph!

Report

0 Vote up Vote down

bearswithfangs · 875 weeks ago

You're shameless 'Nash.

Report

0 Vote up Vote down

Bearclaw · 875 weeks ago

Funny!

Report

0 Vote up Vote down

Bearclaw · 875 weeks ago

I think Leon has left Cal already to go on to other things.

Seriously though, I wonder why more athletes don't compete in more than one sport. Jahvid Best could certainly be a two sport guy (football and track) and Desean Jackson was supposed to be a very good high-school baseball player. Nyan Boateng has expressed intentions to play basketball as well as football. Things worked out pretty well for Cal and Tony Gonzales when he played both Football and B-Ball. A lot of athletes come to college as multi-sport athletes but few seem to compete in more than one college sport. I realize the possibility of injury inreases with added competition and a star player does not want to risk a season or career ending injury. But most players are not going on to the pros anyway, so why miss out on the fun of competing in a second sport? A two-sport competitor shouldn't be penalized by the coach of his primary sport for competing in a second sport. A player should actually be lauded for wanting to help his school by making a contribution in a second sport, especially if he already has a full scholarship. Well, that's my rant. This articl kind of set me off because I hate to see exceptional athletes not use their talents to the fullest extent. Kind of like keeping Desean Jackson from returning punts because he might get hurt and not be able to play receiver.

Report

0 Vote up Vote down

Avinash · 875 weeks ago

I assume the majority of student-athletes want to revel in this "college" thing and have a great social life too. In addition to this, it takes a lot of work and training to be a Cal athlete, and it eliminates most of the fun opportunities you get to participate in the college experience.

Report