Archive for Students
“We Are 4-1 And We Couldn’t Have Sucked More.”
These mumblings were recorded and parsed together of a slightly inebriated Cal fan. His ramblings below are to be considered the drunken incoherency of a derelict and not an accurate sample of the actual Golden Bear fanbase. I hope. WHAT IN JESUS CHRIST NATE LONGSHORE? What’s he doing in there? Might as well just leave […]
Cal Fans Around the World, Get Your Signs Ready
Eh, fuck it. I’m embracing this rivalry, right now. The pathetic Redfurds over on the other side of the Bay have resorted to the most bizarre tactic to motivate their Cardinal: elitist internationalism. Ooh, look, you’re in Paris! It’s appropriate, since your records in battle are eerily similar. In other words, Stanford fans go to […]
Ask the Readers: Most Glorious Victory in Tedford Era
[youtube R_fShwQlANc] [youtube Yh9qExf_uM0] [youtube u2QnI550S7s] After vengeance for our greatest defeats (Tennessee and Arizona), with fans turning into bundles of nerves before Oregon, it’s time to pay attention to our biggest victories. Let’s calm down now everyone? It might not have been terribly impressive, but it’s not as if we’re winning squeakers–three wins were […]
Most Painful Cal Football Memories
A week has come and gone and the Bears have had their revenge. Now that redemption is ours, let’s start to look forward and release all the bad memories you and I dwelled on last week. Here are some of the worst ones that Cal fans have had to suffer through (courtesy of fans in […]
Lavelle Hawkins is Lonely
One man in our potent offense is getting neglected for all his hard work (he does have as many TD returns this year as Tha1). Lavelle wants you to start giving him some love on his big plays. Robert Jordan gets one on replacement punt returns–why shouldn’t he get dap? None of this “Roll on […]
Ask the Readers: Most Painful Defeat in Tedford Era
Time to poll you guys about bad memories. You can vote for the worst on the sidebar, and elaborate on them in the comments. Considering our grudge match against Arizona is coming up (easily the worst moment I’ve had as a Cal football fan, although I know the Holmoe students are grumbling.), I was wondering […]
Let’s See the SEC Pull This Awesomeness Off
[youtube mLrpXluShRU] I say we just send these two guys on the road to Autzen, and hook them up with some pimped out speakers, and confuse the audience into thinking they’re attending a Vanessa Mae concert. Better yet, why not just send a string quartet out for halftime? Everyone outside the Pac-10 already looks […]
Dropping Out of Bad Classes, Falling Into Good (Telebears Recap)
With the craziness of the first few days behind you and now all your syllabi are lined up for calendar organization, you’ve probably already found one or two classes where you’re going, “Oh, shit, this is going to blow.” Never to fear. I think this might be the thousandth time I’ve written about this, but […]
The Shining Lights (Ten of the Best Professors This Semester)
Standing ovations. You don’t do this often. Maybe at a basketball game, maybe after a great musical. But these teachers? They lecture so perfectly that you can’t help but stand and cheer. So in case you want a great experience in class along with your good grades, obsessively stare at your waitlists and try to […]
Shouldn’t You Have Been Fired Yet? (Ten of the Worst Professors This Semester)
Just for the fun of it, we decided to create the doomsday scenario for you. Some of you think you have it bad with your miscellaneous craploads? Imagine a combination of the following teachers of terror. These profs are not going to make your life fun. So in case you’ve ever thought of killing yourself, […]
