Marshawn Lynch, Circling the Wagons With His Pimped Out Cart
In our excitement over the Warriors, we completely forgot that Golden Bears are going pro today. So imagine our delight when we opened up ESPN and saw where Money Lynch was going. Man, this weekend keeps on getting better and better. With the Sabres a Stanley Cup favorite, perhaps God is turning his eye to the beleaguered Buffalo fans at last.
Hello, Marshawn Lynch. It didn’t take long for the Buffalo Bills to find Willis McGahee’s replacement.
The Bills selected Lynch, the California running back, with the No. 12 pick in the NFL draft on Saturday, a month after trading McGahee to Baltimore.
Lynch is listed at 6-foot-1 and 219 pounds and is considered to have explosive speed, catching ability and enough power to be able to run inside. Entering the draft following his junior year, Lynch combined for 2,602 yards rushing and 21 touchdowns in his past two seasons.
He finished with 1,356 yards rushing and 11 touchdowns rushing last season, while also proving a threat as a receiver. He had 328 yards receiving with four touchdowns.
I’m glad to know that 850 year old Marv Levy (aka Yoda) has still got it. The five people who are reading this so far might not know this, but the Bills are my team. Born and raised in Buffalo, I root and die with this team. So to see two of my favorite franchises (Cal and Buffalo) unite borders on utter bliss. And Lynch should fit well into the conservative game calling of Dick Jauron, where J.P. Losman is still a year or two away from becoming a polished quarterback. So we’ll see pretty early if Marshawn can handle the NFL.
Fellow Buffalo fans, this is what you will be seeing this year. Don’t worry too much about the image issues–it’s mostly hyper inflated by the media. Just get ready for the experience.
(Note: We will update you on when any other Cal players get drafted. Stay tuned.)
NFL DRAFT: Bills open by selecting RB Lynch [SF Chronicle]
Marshawn Lynch 2006 [YouTube]
(Image from SF Chronicle)
The Way of A Warrior
We try to avoid hyperbole around these parts, but man, last night’s game was incredible. Even sitting in the back back row of the arena, the excitement in the stadium is too difficult to describe. We wish we could send you that picture of the Indian dude Bhangra-ing up in the 4th row, but I think this is adequate enough.
That being said, Dallas is now down 2-1 in a series in which they’ve been thoroughly outplayed, culminating in a perfect Game 3 by Golden State. The Warriors have held even or played better than them for 10 out of 12 quarters, and who knows what would have happened if there wasn’t a meltdown in Game 2.
We’re not sure what to make of Golden State owning Dallas’s jock. It’s like the Mavericks are Federer, the Warriors are Nadal, and the arena is made of clay. Avery looked completely flummoxed during that game, up to the point that Austin Croshere and Maurice Ager got decent 2nd half minutes. 67% free throw shooting brings up Finals memories. The Diop/Dampier combo was completely ineffective. Their longest unanswered scoring streak of the game was nine points (four). 40 missed jump shots and a -20 point differential in the paint for Dallas. What the hell? Is Avery really trying to out-small ball the Warriors? More power to them if they try it again, but the result will probably be 3-1 and the overrated calls in the media will come louder than ever.
It has to be Nellie. It must be Nellie. I didn’t believe before this game. But we’ll know in about 36 hours whether this was the best Golden State had to offer.
Warriors 109, Mavericks 91 [NBA]
(Image from Yahoo)
This Could Be A Very Painful or Unbelievable or Painfully Unbelievable 48 Minutes
We’re skipping Telebears today (seriously, who does their schedule on Friday night? Go outside!), so normally I’d fill the dead air time with something like hamster eating broccoli and wiggling uncontrollably.
But your esteemed editor is going to Game 3 of Mavs-Warriors tonight. I haven’t been to a basketball game in 12 years (it was Magic-Heat, and Shaq blew them into oblivion if I recall correctly.), and next year we’ll probably make it more of a habit. I’m a Kings fan, but because I’ve been beaten into submission by the failings of Orlando, Sacramento, and Buffalo sporting teams, I’m pretty much rooting for Golden State to upset the 67-15ers. Brothers in misery, I must say.
Well let the misery start ending tonight. We know Baron Davis went kooky on Wednesday and Stephen Jackson displayed his typical insanity, but maybe this crowd will do just enough for this team to live them to 2-1. Plus Monta Ellis should get his Most Improved Player Award, just to pump the crowd up a little more. It’s going to be very very loud.
Should be one hell of a night. Hopefully. Unless Dirk starts driving to the hoop. Then it could be fuckage.
Mavericks-Warriors Preview [NBA]
(Image from DroppingDimes)
There? Their? Or They’re? Telebears XIV–English
English must be fun. Go to lecture, listen to absorbing thoughts about the most amazing texts ever written, write essays about those texts, and then have the professor/GSI knock you down because your interpretation doesn’t coincide with theirs. Must always be fun being an English major.
Here’s what the students say about their fickle profs. (Note: English reviews are long. So Telebears scheduling will take Friday off and return Monday.)
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Leave them in the comments.)
David Halberstam, 1934-2007
Pulitizer Prize winner David Halberstam, one of the greatest non-fiction storytellers of our generation, died yesterday when a car broadsided the vehicle in which he was a passenger. Kevin Jones, the driver and a UC Berkeley journalism student, was injured but survived.
I haven’t read too much Halberstam, but I always knew he was a giant in the world of journalism. I definitely recommend some of his best works in both the political and sports world. The Best and the Brightest on Vietnam, The Powers that Be on media, The Breaks of the Game on basketball, Playing for Keeps on MJ are just some of his more famous works. The man knew how to tell a compelling story, which is more than we can say about half the media populace.
Another great voice for America silenced. He will be missed.
David Halberstam [Wikipedia]
Author David Halberstam killed in crash near Dumbarton Bridge [San Jose Mercury News]
I’ll Really Wish I Had Majored in Econ: Telebears XIII–History
History is one of those subjects you try to avoid for the entirety of your time in school, simply because secondary school teachers like to ram into you many facts. Yes, that brutal bastard Christopher Columbus discovered American islands in 1492. Yes, Lewis and Clark teamed up with Sacagawea for the most successful threesome of all time. Yes, Japanese-Americans did not get the best possible breaks from Roosevelt. We got it the first time around; you didn’t need to hammer it into our heads each successive year until we leave high school.
Surprisingly, a lot of students end up back in history when they realize most other majors are too tough for them. History can be kinda boring to learn, but by this point in life it can be quite easy–we’ve been doing it for so long that there doesn’t seem to be many more tricks left. Here are what these cruising students have to say about their professors.
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Contribute them in the comments.)
You’ll Need More Than Hypnosis To Forget Your Grades (Telebears XII–Psychology)
Psychologists. All they need are comfortable sofas and a notepad to do their job effectively. If you manage to make it into this field, you are so set for life. You don’t even have to be very good, just nod your head, offer some vague advice, and then move onto next patient. Pretty decent way to live.
Here are the people that will guide you into this field, and what students are saying about them. The information comes after the jump.
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Contribute them in the comments.)
My Thought Bubbles Are Bigger Than Yours (Telebears XI–PEIS/Political Science)
Just from the gentle imagery and message you see to your left, you can tell politicians are some of the sweetest, most well-intentioned people you will ever meet. Sterling leaders of our great nation with their heart in the right place, they will always try to lead America to the Promised Land. Literally; we’re almost there now.
Unfortunately for you, instead of choosing this noble road, you decided to become a political theorist. Prepare to become utterly useless to the world, just like our friend/madman Kenneth Waltz. After the jump, you can meet the professors that discovered how little their impact on the world really is.
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Contribute them in the comments.)
Below the Mean (Telebears X–Statistics)
To end our week, we’ve decided to show a correlation between the amount of money we will make off this site (ads are up now) and how quickly we will lose our grasp of reality, which is now tenuous at best.
Statistics people suffer from this problem all the time. See what they think of the profs who drained all the humor out of them right after the hop.
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Contribute them in the comments.)
Sell Your Soul (Telebears IX–Business)
Money. It’s how people in America judge how far off they are in the world. In order to compensate for their own lack of self-respect and self-worth, they make tons of this to provide solace and clothes to their families, only to cheat on their spouses with a stripper from Vegas Fargo a decade or so down the road.
Oh well, at least you’ll live with the face you’re becoming useful to the world while slowly but surely destroying the very possibility of happiness in your future. Here we see one daring young lad beginning the process early on, so he never understands what happiness is.
Here are what your fellow chaps say about the teachers leading you down the road to complete self-loathing. (If anyone has any idea what students mean about Robinson and Asian boys, leave it in the comments. We’re confused.)
(Have any memories about professors in this department for a class or in general? Contribute them in the comments.)
